The Epic Brand Snob

One weird phenomena in the skateshop is the Epic Brand Snob…and oddly enough, this concept transcends all facets of skateboarding in general; it’s not just a longboard thing.  These are the kids who solely swear by one single brand, for everything.  But, although it transcends all facets, it is largely a longboard thing.

A cousin to the Educated Idiot, the Epic Brand Snob thinks he knows everything about everything, and that his brand is the end-all, be-all of longboarding.  I hate to pick on Loaded Longboards again, but they’re an easy target given a few recent customers.  I can’t tell you how many people have come in asking for a 65mm or 70mm longboard slide wheel.  In the interest of saving them a few bucks, I usually point them towards our Sector9 Butterballs at $36.  The overwhelming response is that the Epic Brand Snob turns up his nose and says “No thanks, I’ll take the Orangatangs.”  Now, the Orangatang wheels retail for $55…But, that doesn’t really matter to the Epic Brand Snob, since he wants his Orangatangs, dammit!  And he’ll do anything it takes to get ’em!

The most extreme version of the Epic Brand Snob seems to come from people who buy one particular Loaded model:  The Tan Tien.  I have no idea what it is about this particular longboard, but it brings in some doozies.  They seem to be a combination of Educated Idiot, Wilhelm, and Best For Sliding kid.  They seem to think that, since they’re spending $300 on a freakin’ longboard, it makes them a total expert…and with that, in the true vein of Epic Brand Snobbery, they must have the most expensive stuff we carry.  Loaded boards, Loaded wheels, usually some form of Swiss bearing, and whichever trucks Loaded recommends.  I’ve sold 2 Tan Tiens on Bear Grizzly trucks, even though I thought Loaded spec’ed Paris trucks on their boards…but then I remind myself that Grizzlies are a few bucks more than Paris.  As I mentioned in the 90’s post, it’s not necessarily the brand snobbery that gets me.  If paying up the wazoo is what gives them their jollies, so be it.  It’s the fact that I’m treated like some kind of dumbass for remotely suggesting something outside of the Loaded circle.

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