Attractive Females

Posted: 2012-07-15 in Uncategorized
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Pardon my mis-spelling in the title.  One thing I’ve wanted to blog about for a while is the really hot ladies we get in the shop.  I don’t want to make this out to be at all perverted or creepy, so I’m not going to post any pics, names, or other personal stuff.  By the nature of the topic of attractive females, this is going to be slightly creepy, but it is what it is.  I’m just posting this to appreciate some of my favorite customers.

First type of attractive female I’m going to cover is the classic MILF.  Usually, they’re in buying a birthday gift for a son or daughter.  I have no idea what it is, but the MILF is usually quite warm and friendly.  Maybe they’re sexy and they know it (thank you, LMFAO) and just want to buddy up to the shop monkey to get a discount.  Maybe they’re just used to being treated like royalty.  But, they’re usually the first to make jokes about their age (“Oh, we rode these 70’s boards when I was a kid!”).  I have no idea if they’re trying to fish for compliments or what, but honestly, none of these ladies look like they rode a 70’s board when they were kids…at least, not the super-narrow hardwood or fiberglass ones they talk about.  I could see, for most of them, a late 1970’s pig shape, but that’s about it.  From my Parents post, the MILFs usually fall into the category of Those That Just Don’t Get It, or possibly Rich Money Throwers.  Very rarely is a MILF Genuinely Stoked…in fact, I have yet to meet a Genuinely Stoked MILF.  I know they’re out there, somewhere, because I’ve seen pics of girls riding boards in the 70’s and 80’s, but I just haven’t met any.

The second type of attractive female is the College Freshman.  They’re young (obviously), hip to trends and fads right now, and usually have Daddy’s credit card.  Since longboards (and those damn-ass-bitch-whore Penny boards) are quite fashionable right now, the College Freshman is usually buying something as a fashion accessory.  But, I quite enjoy the tight t-shirts and short shorts…aaaaaand that sounded really damn creepy.  College Freshmen usually fall into Cluelessly Curious Customers and are usually pretty fun to serve.  They want the best, but don’t know exactly what they want, but are willing to work with me and make a few compromises.  Most of the time, the College Freshman walks in with a group of (guy) friends who all fall into the category of Educated Idiot, which does make things quite difficult.  College Freshman is just trying to find herself a nice board, and I honestly try to get her on the best board possible, but her Educated Idiot boyfriends keep getting in my way.  As a result, I’ve just learned to shut my mouth and let them figure stuff out on their own.

The third type of attractive female we get in is the Preppy High Schooler.  They’re like bananas, they roll in bunches.  They’re used to waggling their chesticles at all the high school guys and getting what they want, but that’s fuckin’ weird and doesn’t work on me.  So, they usually get angry and leave.  Unless they’re rolling in a bunch of high school Educated Idiots.  Then, the group of friends turns into a Perpetual Arguer and the whole thing goes downhill (not in the cool, fast, longboard way either).

Some of my favorite female customers are the semi-attractive down-to-earth girls.  They’re confident enough to swing in solo; no herds of estrogen here.  They’ll listen to my advice, and are usually willing to compile all the information and make their own decisions.  And, they’re not super stuck-up either.  They’re very calm and cool, and don’t need skanky clothes or anything.  The usual attire is a nice t-shirt, and maybe some jeans or jean shorts.  These are the types of girls that make you want to take ’em out for coffee and discuss politics or something.  Unfortunately, these are the rarest of the attractive customers.  They’re vastly outnumbered by Preppies and Freshmen.

Like I said, the point of this post wasn’t to be creepy or anything, in any way.  I just wanted to show appreciation for the fairer sex, when they enter my shop.

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