Posts Tagged ‘Cluelessly Curious’

This weekend brought out a new customer stereotype.  I don’t want to say they were Cluelessly Curious, because they weren’t really curious at all.  They were just plain clueless.  Not a big deal, since it’s my job to decipher what the customer wants, and set them up appropriately.  But, it was a bit shocking having two doozies dropped on me in one afternoon.

The first girl gets a bye, since she was 10ish years old.  But, the story’s a gem, nonetheless.  It seems her and her father had purchased a blue, cheap, Krown complete from us last year.  It wasn’t keeping up with her brother’s Z-Flex longboard, so she wanted something faster.  I gave my whole pitch, going over all the various shapes, and trying to get her a board she’d like.  Of course, dad was right there making sure she didn’t make a poor purchase, and over-analyzing everything about every board.  The girl had picked out a drop deck with purple wheels, since she loved the purple wheels.  But, the quality wasn’t much higher than the Krown board she already owned, and the board was vastly inappropriate for what she wanted to do anyway.  I showed her several options, but she kept going back to that board (that was nearly as large as she was) because she liked the purple wheels.  Naturally, she just couldn’t get the same Z-Flex board as her brother, so that was out of the question…And, her dad wouldn’t let her spend any more than that.  So, after much hemming and hawing, they settled on keeping her existing board, and upgrading the wheels and bearings.  This was a whole new ordeal in itself, since the girl wanted purple wheels.  We sell Orangatang wheels, which I don’t personally care for, but they come in purple.  The dad was asking me exactly which wheels I’d recommend, so I pointed them towards Abec11 wheels, which I absolutely LOVE.  But, that was a no-go because they were green.  By this time, I was growing weary of all the shenanigans, so I began fudging some things.  The dad asked if the purple O’tangs were fast, and I said that they were…When asked what made them faster than the aforementioned Abec 11’s, I sorta stammered something about how they’re higher rebound and give more energy.  By this time, the girl had decided on the complete board again, so her dad peeled her off of it, and they eventually did purchase the wheels and some new bearings, and left the store.

The second group consisted of 2 sisters, a mother, and a grandmother.  The two daughters looked all angsty, and didn’t say anything, so the grandma did most of the talking.  She simply asked me what wheels were the best.  “For what?” I replied.  “For just learning,” said the grandmother.  I asked “What kind of skating?  Are we doing tricks, or just cruising around?”  The grandmother retorted “Just learning,” before telling her granddaughters to pick out some wheels.  The one said “Oh, I want those blue ones,” pointing to some Bones SPF’s, which are some of the slipperiest wheels I’ve ever ridden, and not good for anything but the smoothest, cleanest surface out there.  I told her that, and the granddaughter said “Oh, I want those then,” as she pointed to some more appropriate Spitfires.  Again, I asked if they were going to be doing tricks, or just cruising around.  The granddaughter replied “Just learning,” which left me back at square one.  After going through about 6 different sets of Spitfires, and telling her the advantages and disadvantages of each, she finally settled on some Streetburners.  The mother was getting anxious and tired of being around that dumbass behind the counter that obviously couldn’t magically read her daughter’s mind and tell them exactly what they wanted, so it was great that the second daughter just pointed at “those blue wheels in the case.”  Unfortunately, we had about 3 sets of blue wheels, so naturally, it was the last set I picked up to show her.  The mother was getting more and more visibly irritated, so they all left, with the mother nearly in a huff.  I was sitting there, dumbfounded, at why these 4 ladies were so angry, seemingly at me.  I honestly don’t think they knew how deep the ‘rabbit hole’ of skateboarding truly went, nor did they want to hear it.  But, I had to remind myself that they weren’t angry at me personally, they were just angry at the idiot behind the counter.


But there sure are a lot of inquisitive idiots.  I was reminded of a scene from the movie Clerks a few times this weekend.  You know the one, where Dante and Randal are arguing over who gets the worst customers.  Kind of a counter-point to the Educated Idiot, the Cluelessly Curious Customer has absolutely no idea what they want from anything, and expect me to give them the best board for bombing, sliding, carving, pumping, humping, jumping, dancing, skancing, prancing, bombing, sliding, and carving…all for a price of about half their actual budget.  It’s not that they have no idea what they want, they just want something that’s impossible to deliver:  the mythical do-it-all board that looks killer and costs $50.

A sort of sub-set of the Cluelessly Curious Customer is the kids who come in and pester me mercilessly with questions.  It wouldn’t be so bad if people took a second to look at something.  For example, the kid this weekend who stood right next to our accessory wall (with prices clearly marked on everything) and asked how much everything cost.  I don’t have the entire wall memorized, so I tried to (very obviously) look at the price tag, in hopes that he got the hint that all the prices were RIGHT THERE.  Then, he asked what kind of hats we have.  I pointed upward at our hat rack, but he wanted to know exactly what kinds of hats we had in store RIGHT NOW.  He actually made me read off every single hat we had, just so he could guarantee we weren’t hiding anything from him.

Another Cluelessly Curious Customer apparently thought we were hiding “the good stuff” from him in the basement or back room or something.  He was flat-out convinced that we had a stash of Landyachtz boards hidden away somewhere, because his friend had purchased a Landy board from us earlier this spring.  He actually pulled me aside and asked in a hush-hush tone if this was all the longboards we had.  Apparently other shops have a “back room” full of  “the good stuff.”  For the record, we don’t.

Along those same lines, we had another Cluelessly Curious ask if this was all the longboards we had…as he pointed toward one rack we have of Z-Flex boards.  Nevermind the 6 other racks we have that are FULLY STOCKED WITH LONGBOARDS.

Otherwise, it was quite a slow weekend.   Bad weather kept people off the streets, so sales were not very good.  I almost couldn’t think of a topic to blog about today!  But, such is life.